On Singleness: The Inclusive Love of God
Article by John Mark Comer and Fred Bittner
From its inception, Christianity was the
most radical movement of all time. The incredible nature of the love of God
reshaped all cultural norms of the day. This became evident when Jesus took a
child in His arms and said,
Whoever
welcomes one of these little children in My Name welcomes Me; and whoever
welcomes Me does not welcome Me but the One who sent Me. – John 9:37
In society, children were grouped with women
and slaves. They had no rights and were considered little more than
possessions. But, Jesus changed all of that with His inclusive love. With one
statement, He gave children value.
God continued to show His inclusive love
when He gave great value to women when Paul wrote,
Husbands,
love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for Her. –
Ephesians 5:25
God placed wives as valued partners in
marriage.
But there is another segment of the church,
which is often overlooked, or minimized. That group includes those who have
never been married, and those who are no longer married. This group lives with
the constant question, “When are you going to find someone?”
In the time of Jesus, a woman had to get
married to survive, and if for some reason she lost her husband, she was
expected to marry again. But God’s inclusive love extended to singles as well.
The apostle Paul, proclaimed that singleness
was a gift from God. In fact he wished that we were all as he was.
John Mark Comer, in the book Loveology,
asserts that being single is gift from God.
Singleness was a radical idea in Paul’s
time. To stay single was to carry a stigma for your whole life and to risk
dying in abject poverty. But not only was singleness okay in the early Church,
it was encouraged! Historians argue the early Church was the first movement
ever to hold out singleness as a viable way of life.
Do you have the calling and ability from God
to live single in order to serve God in a greater capacity? Make sure you get
that last part. For followers of Jesus, the point of singleness isn’t freedom
from responsibility. It’s freedom for more responsibility. Paul thinks it’s
great if you stay single. At the end of the chapter he says he thinks it’s
“better” than marriage. But Paul isn’t saying you should abdicate
responsibility, work part-time, go surfing every day, travel a bit, play in a
band that never goes anywhere, and do nothing but chill for ten years of your
life. Does that sound anything like the Gospel to you? To Paul, the point of
singleness is to serve God in ways you can’t if you’re married.
If you are single, whether you want to be
single or not, you have an opportunity to share God’s inclusive love with
others. Don’t spend your time wondering when life will be different. Invest
your time in service to Christ. God has given you this time to do great things
for Him. The gift may only be yours for a season, so serve the Lord with gladness.
If the Lord has a different plan for you down the road, He will bless you in
ways you cannot imagine.
The family of God is filled with very
different people, who are all joined together by the blood of Christ. That is
what makes us family. We all have a place in the Kingdom, and we all have a
ministry. If you are single right now, what is your ministry?
Questions
To Consider:
1.
How does a person know if they have the gift
of singleness? Is there some deciding factor? See 1 Corinthians 7:9, 1 Corinthians
7:36-38
2. Of
the many ministries in your church, how many of those positions are held by
unmarried people (nursery workers, Sunday School teachers, servers, etc.)?
3.
How can we encourage single people to focus
more on ministry? See 1 Corinthians 7:32-35.
4. The
overwhelming majority of singles face the “When are you going to get married”
question from well-meaning Christian friends. If singleness is indeed a gift,
then are we encouraging our single brothers and sisters or discouraging them?
5.
What is Paul’s encouragement to all
Christians in 1 Corinthians 7:29-31? See also Matthew 10:34-36.
Watch the Loveology Video Bible Study #1:
Your
Turn
If you’re single, do you hear that question
far too often for your comfort? If you’re married, how hard do you push your
single friends to find someone and get married as soon as possible? What do you
think of Paul’s encouragement to the early Church (and to us!) to stay single
for the purpose of taking more responsibility in serving in the Kingdom of God?
Join the conversation on our blog! We’d love to hear your thoughts on
singleness.
Source
p.s.
:
I copied and posted this article here
because I think it’s important to be thought of. I didn’t say that I had
decided to live life in singleness (hidup
selibat, in Bahasa Indonesia), like a nun. But, I has thought about that
problem of singleness in our conformist-society. The decision to become a
single as long as you live, that’s all about choice. Your choice in God’s
acceptance. Not your choice in society’s acceptance. I was thinking the same
with Pastor John Mark Comer : church and society should not discourage the
Christian to commit herself or himself to live life in singleness. Especially
in Non-Catholic-Church. Because in Catholic-Church, they accept that way of
living, as a single. To be a nun or a monk. I am (still) thinking about that. To
provide a community for every Christians who decided to live life in
singleness. So they will be strengthened inside to follow what God called them
to do. Even, when someday, I will marry. I still wanna think about this, to help my brothers and sisters
who live life in singleness, because the calling of God. *
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